Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Let's paint friendship bongs
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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