My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Randomize
