Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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