Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
