like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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