she was so not down for the gang bang
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
