I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
