Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
