Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
