Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
