I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
