On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
