I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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