I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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