The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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