it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
