i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
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I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
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did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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