last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes