theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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