singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
