Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
