I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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