Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
