Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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