i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Nicole vs. Life
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
