i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
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using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
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You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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