i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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