I'm gonna have a badass scar
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
