my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
