he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm always down for nudity.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
