her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
