dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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