lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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