Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We need a shit load of segways right now
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
