i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
