is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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