Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
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My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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