My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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