he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
