you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
