Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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