yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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