I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
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