at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
