i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
