I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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