Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
