Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
