its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
