its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
