Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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