don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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