How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
