dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
