bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
