I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
