Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
