: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
