Just fell off a train. Bad.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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