so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
