I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
