Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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