so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
