I want to have your abortion
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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