i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
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Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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