Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Also, beer. Big fan.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
