You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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